*

★ moved!

2008-07-29T14:21:01Z

unmyeong!

don't feel like you need to friend it if we've never been too close; if i love you and you love me back then go ahead! if you just really can't stand the sight of me again then no hard feelings; just go ahead and remove this journal (pureuda)! i understand how people think that i dislike them: i read each and every entry on my f-list it; it's just that i never know what to comment with. i'm sorry about that; i'm really trying to fix that. .____.; to new friends: sorry! it was mostly on a whim but talking to thu (themerrier) made me feel better about it, ha ha.

hopefully, see you guys there! ♥

★ what i do when i'm supposed to be sleeping.

2008-07-08T04:46:49Z

Because:

A. Me and my sister have these totally epic conversations before bed.
B. It's not "Eunhae" 'cuz it's "Haeeun." Which is a girl's name. :DDD ~~Hi, Thu, I love you. D:~~
C. For dear_whimsy if she wants it~ :D BE HAPPY BE HAPPY BE HAPPY :D :D :D
D. Howl's Moving Castle was not downloading; THEREFORE I NEED TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS WITH CRACK FIC.
E. A remake of "U" would be freaking amazing but srsly, if SM decides to do another sub-group I WILL BITCH AND YELL AND SCREAM AND THREATEN TO LEAVE THE FANDOM and then realize, well, okay, if they can actually sing and be entertaining, whatever. :| :| :|
F. Hi, firefadesaway~! :D ♥
G. Er, I will get back to the meme and comments in approximately 12 hours! orz orz orz
H. LOL, I dislike this pairing. :'D :'D :'D

And so. I need to lay of the caffeine, srsly. :|

To our nonexistent karma
epic Donghae + Eunhyuk BFFery. idk. :|
In which Donghae needs a water bottle to kill a spider on the 12th floor, Eunhyuk has arachnophobia, and there is research on old, dead composers.
PG-13. 420 words. ~~Epic fail, whut.~~

Donghae says very seriously to Hyukjae one humid evening with a frown, "Don't look now, Hyukkie, but I am going to borrow one of your water bottles to kill this big fat spider in my room, okay?"

Hyukjae sits up straight, quickly and efficiently, his supposed "research" about classical composers abandoned. "Oh my God," he says, and stops himself from jumping off his bed and abandoning his old, crusty laptop to check if there were, in fact, any spiders in his room. "Oh my God. Donghae."

"Yeees~?" Donghae smiles his out-of-place smile and Hyukjae resists the urge to a) scream like a girl, b) start panicking, and c) fling himself in Sungmin and Kyuhyun's room.

"What if," he manages to choke out. "What if that spider comes for me?"

Donghae takes one look at him and begins to laugh. Does he detect cold laughter? Hyukjae stares at the other boy, slightly concerned. Maybe China had taken away the Donghae he had known for ever. He was slightly afraid that this might happen; after all, Donghae went from insane to even more insane (how could Hyukjae even describe that?).

"Hyukjae, the spider is on the 12th floor."

Hyukjae nods.

"You live on the 11th floor."

"And so?!" he bursts out, pushing away his laptop from his legs (it was beginning to overheat anyways). "At least you live with Shindong! What's up with him; can't he kill the thing?"

Donghae frowns, a subtle tug on his lips, and Hyukjae immediately takes everything back.

"Lee Hyukjae," he says, all stone-cold and serious (Stupid unmanly emotionally screwed-up kid, Hyukjae thinks, cursing his luck — why couldn't have Donghae just gone to Hankyung?), "have you ever felt the pain of having to sleep next to Shindong-hyung."

"No."

"I mean, can't you hear the snores from upstairs?"

"Well — Hae, no, but — "

He gives up a hard look. "Yeah, well, I didn't think so."

They sit in silence for a while before Hyukjae starts to tap-tap-tap on his laptop again and Donghae starts to tap-tap-tap on his water bottle. There is more tap-tap-tapping and then some more uncomfortable silence before Donghae finally asks, "Hyukkie, are you downloading porn?"

"GO GO GO GO GO," shouts Hyukjae, loud enough to wake up the whole apartment, much less the 11th floor, and pushes Donghae out the door.

"Love you too, baby!" he yells from the outside, and Hyukjae can still hear, "Our love is real~!" accompanied by footsteps, a door slamming, and many, many whacks followed promptly by "Please die, okay?"

And, sadly, Hyukjae has never been more sorry for a stupid spider in all his life.

★ sometimes i don't even know.

2008-07-03T04:05:10Z

it's fic tiem!
and by that i mean:
picture fic tiem!

don't know an "picture fic" is? a picture fic is a fic told by letters and papers — the catch is that they are all made in an image program like adobe photoshop to tell a story from the perspectives of two people. idk, i was high off of pepsi when i wrote/photoshopped/thought of this, okay. :| EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOU ARE HIGH OFF OF PEPSI. :| :| :| ~~this is what i do to keep my mind off of hong gildong god i fail. D:~~

not about the cola
movie!verse. pg-13.
— kibum/donghae friendship
— kyuhyun/donghae friendship

during kyuhyun's sophomore year, he and his classmates are forced into exchanging letters and notes with the graduating senior class of neul paran high school. he is (un)lucky enough to have gotten lee donghae, who will eventually change his view of the world, one ridiculously useless note at a time. based very loosely on the 2008 movie "doremifasolatido."

notes: crack, weirdness, lack of photoshop skills :|, kyuhyun's handwriting not being legible?, me being me. :| :| :|
disclaimer: totally not real! totally not mine! ♥

Installment One: In which Kyuhyun is depressed, Donghae is amused, and Kibum only has a cameo but feels like a love-note deliverer.

September 20th

September 22

September 23

September 26

September 26, a few hours later

September 27

Next installment? ~~LOL probably never~~ Maybe Friday; more content and ~*funny*~ stuff? :| :| :|

the song donghae supposedly "composed" is from the doremifasolatido soundtrack; you can download it here! ♥ this version is the one by jeong joonil, which is the official version. jang geunseok's version is so much cuter, but he only sang in the movie. :'D

★ i thought i saw a shooting star.

2008-07-02T01:02:09Z

these are for perv and themerrier because you guys are bullies. :| ♥ i... totally don't write for any of these pairings except kihae. :| and these could totally pass for hong gildong fanfics except la la la i'm going to ignore that fact now. :|

if i
kibum/donghae, g, drama
(changhui, yinok)
306 words

maybe he learned taoist magic, because you were pretty sure a year ago that if you ever had to fall in love, you'd never fall in love with a type of boy like him. or maybe just not fall in love after all. you'd never have a love. and out of all the names available, his name had to be donghae. plain old donghae.

and then nothing.

when you finally wake up, long, slender fingers smooth the wet rag on your forehead and your first thought is was i a fool to have loved you? you open your eyes and see him staring down back at you with a bright smile on his face. "you did good, gongja!" he says enthusiastically, patting your arm roughly. you wince but he doesn't notice. "you did so well! i thought he had you for a while there but you showed him, didn't you?"

his smile grows bigger and bigger until it becomes your personal sun, and maybe, you think, this is what you could live for, if just for one day.

"donghae…," you try to say but he shakes his head.

"you need to be resting, okay?" distractedly, he takes a steamed red bean paste bun and stuffs it absentmindedly into his mouth. "gongja," he says after swallowing with another smile, "you're going to recover soon, you know? so — " a fist " — gongja, jiayou!"

"jiayou," you murmur awkwardly back, an equally-awkward grin on your face. it's been so long since you've smiled. lee donghae, you think just a little sadly, if you left me, how would i live?

and maybe he reads minds, too, because he smoothes your hair and whispers softly, "ah, gongja, don't worry. if you need to talk, my door's always open."

he leaves soon after that, and it was nice while it had lasted.

—

the truth is always stranger
heechul/han geng, pg, crack
(sugeun, merchant wang)
286 words

"psst," whispers heechul when no one in the marketplace is looking. "psst," he whispers again, more dramatically, when han geng is playing deaf and apparently has selective hearing.

"psst!" heechul roars, and han geng is forced to give up dusting his precious so-claimed "imported" merchandise.

"what?!" he yells back.

heechul grins mysteriously. "merchant han," he begins slyly, "i heard from a certain someone that you are not actually from china — " han geng makes a choked sound in his throat " — but you are actually faking that ridiculous accent and are actually from jeolla province." and winks. han geng is appalled.

"h-heechul sshi!" he says, shushing heechul instantly with waving his arms frantically. "don't say that! it's bad for my reputation!" he scowls. "have you been talking with that boy recently?"

heechul snorts. "of course! he's our chief, after all."

"please never let me see you again and go flirt with whatsherface yuri."

"oh! but merchant han!" heechul says sadly, faking everything and loving every moment of it. "have you never… never felt the boom boom bang! of love before?"

"i'm sorry, what?"

"the firecrackers telling you that that person is that one?"

"excuse me but what?"

"the explosions of love inside your heart?!"

"what?"

heechul sighs. "you really are from china after all."

han geng's face is completely blank and heechul cannot take it anymore.

"basically," heechul says simply, "have you ever danced like no one's watching?"

"…," says han geng (as he really was from china after all).

he sighs. "how sad." a sudden grin pops up on his face and han geng is slightly afraid. "then, darling, let me show you it."

another strangled sound of sheer terror comes from han geng's throat.

—

two old men
kangin/leeteuk, g, crack
(noin, haemyung)
452 words

"why do you call donghae your grandson," leeteuk asks one day, "when you are only two years older than him?"

kangin chokes on a biscuit before stuttering, "w-well, even though i am his hyung, i don't like it when he calls me hyung or ajusshi and he doesn't want to call me appa s-so…"

leeteuk raises an eyebrow. "so he calls you grandpa?"

"er," says kangin, and back he goes to drinking his soup.

the next day, kangin finds leeteuk in merchant han's booth (trying to sell a pair of colored eyeglasses and shooing away the older man at the same time) calming blowing on a steamed bun.

"hey!" kangin calls. "hey! hey, leeteuk-sshi!"

"hm?"

he grins like a cat. "so i heard from a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain brothel that my donghae has caught your boy's eye!" he sighs. "aaaah. this must be fate! we must've been fated to meet from the start! although i'm a bit worried that my donghae is too clueless and will reject your boy…"

leeteuk finishes chewing carefully before murmuring "hmmm" thoughtfully. kangin clicks his tongue and whispers dramatically, "ah, leeteuk-sshi is so old that he doesn't even understand true love~"

the day after that goes something like this:

"leeteuk-sshi!"

"hm?"

only this time, his grin is bigger. "so i heard from a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain brothel that my donghae has caught the gongja's personal bodyguard's eye!" he sighs. "i only hope that my poor clueless donghae can see that shiwon-sshi has fallen so deeply in love with him!"

leeteuk raises an eyebrow and says, "hmmm." kangin scowls and only mutters under his breath, "ah, he's so jealous~"

the next day:

"leeteuk-sshi!"

"hm?!"

kangin's grin was so big that it could almost replace the sun and leeteuk's eyebrow could not possibly go any higher than it was. "big news! so i heard from a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain someone with connections to a certain brothel that my donghae has caught the gongja's eye!" he throws up his arms in delight. "now we'll never have to peddle medicine again!" leeteuk starts to chew on his dumpling again.

"don't you care, leeteuk-sshi?!"

"hmmm. no, not really."

kangin laughs. "a-hah! you just don't want to admit that you were wrong, right? saying that my donghae could be from a noble family! that's funny~ even though royalty would be nice, being a merchant is definitely great, too!"

leeteuk just smiles and laughs and says, "ah, well. that could be destiny, after all."

—

things we've never said
kyuhyun/sungmin, g, general
(yeon-sshi, gomi)
401 words

the first time i've ever met you, i thought you were younger than me. the first time i've told you that, you laughed and said, "it's because i have a baby face, isn't that right?" and you returned to drawing in the dirt with a thin stick.

the second time i've ever seen you, you were hiding from heechul, who was angry at you for moving his bed to make room for yourself. i don't recall ever warning you about that kind of thing (don't anger him and you'll be fine; don't be prettier than him and you'll be fine) but you seemed to get along just fine after that incident. the first time i've told you that, you laughed and said, "it's because i look really weak to you, isn't that right? don't worry kyuhyunnie, because i can take care of myself."

i asked you how old you really were. another laugh. "20! i look like i'm still 16, doesn't it?" he pauses, unconsciously tracing his lips while thinking. "oh, i wonder how old you are?"

"i just turned 18."

you smiled and clapped your hands. "i'm glad you shared that with me, kyuhyunnie~"

and then the counting stopped. the firsts and seconds and thirds and fourths all melted together and here we are standing, sitting, hiding, stealing, laughing, smiling, crying at all once. maybe my memory is a bottomless pit, because i honestly don't remember anymore. i don't remember the first joke you told me, the first time we ate four pheasants all by ourselves, the first time that you insisted on putting heechul's make-up on me and the first time we were truly afraid that he would tan our sorry hides.

"we're thieves," you tell me one day, when everything is falling apart. "don't we deserve to die?" the army comes closer, closer, closer. i don't know what to do anymore.

"if they do," i say slowly, "then i won't let them get you, hyung." because i want to protect your smile.

and then you read my mind and nod, grinning triumphantly like a fool that's going to die. "well, then, at least we're going to put up a fight, right?"

"right."

you laugh and twirl your staff. "they're coming closer, aren't they? we're not going to fall back, aren't we?"

"no," i say, "because we're hwal bin dang!"

because we're going to change the world one day.

k.
gongja (공자) = "young master"
hwal bin dang (활빈당) = "the army that helps peasants" ~~i think :|~~

c.
jiayou (加油) = lit. add oil; Korean equivalent is fighting!

★ because i am insane/my love is too strong/it's one in the morning/etc.

2008-06-26T04:39:27Z

I'm not sure if there's ever been a So Nyeo Shi Dae friending meme going around because, truthfully, I haven't been a fan long enough to know! But a lot of friending memes have been going around and I was surprised that one hadn't been made for our girls~ ♥ And for those that have no idea what a friending meme is, just copy and paste the pretty little code in the textbox below and ~~stalk~~ the threads to see if there's anyone you'd like to friend and get to know better! ♥♥♥

Pimp it! ♥ Because I will be extremely sad if I have to cut myself off my own f-list and add me back again :'D
<a href = "http://pureuda.livejournal.com/33514.html">the so nyeo shi dae friending meme</a>

And the almighty code!
baby baby » the 411 name: text text text age: text text text birthday: text text text location: text text text ooh la-la! » favorites member: text text text pairing: text text text song: text text text music video: text text text other: text text text complete » deep down and personal why you love them: text text text your initial reaction was... text text text you look up to _______ the most! text text text what's in your lj? text text text other main interests: text text text tell us about your friending policy! text text text quick! tell me what's been playing in your music player lately~ text text text any last-minute things you want to share? text text text

Have fun, bbs~! ♥

★ come rain or shine.

2008-06-23T02:46:34Z

I AM BACK FROM TORONTO, CANADAAAAA ~~AND ALSO AFRAID TO CHECK MY F-LIST AND HOLY SHIT WHY WERE THERE THREE FRIENDING MEMES IN ONE WHOLE WEEKKKKK AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE ANYMORE~~ :ooo

I went to Chinatown but where I really wanted to be was Queen Street. Or maybe it was Queens Street, but I'm pretty sure it's Queen Street? ER IDK. B-but it was really really pretty and s-so much better than Chinatown *______* I-I really wanted to go to Koreatown, too, but NO WEIRD PARENTS + THEIR ~~CANADIAN~~ FRIENDS >:| B-but all I really was thinking about was a) the food, b) how sdpfomfsdfsdf my f-page would be, and c) HOMG SJM FIC DDD: THE WHOLE CARTRIP WAS SJM FIC. SRSLY. So instead of rambling about how stupid I am to have sprained/pulled/twisted my neck and how I couldn't lift it up all day Saturday (NOW I CAN LOOK BACK AND SEE PEOPLE OH MY GOD DDD:!!!!) SO ANYWAYS HERE ARE MY RANDOM 10:21PM I NEED TO WAKE UP AT 7:00AM TOMORROW SCENARIOS FOR essyllus BECAUSE HAPPY BIRTHDAY :DDDDD

I-I am not kidding about Detroit, by the way :'DDDD

01. talking about the retarded GPS system
Han Geng: (who is driving IDK why :|) This GPS has a slow reaction time. Like Henry.
All: LOLOLOLOL!!!111one!
(five minutes of silence later)
Henry: ... Wait, what?!

02. trying to find the highway
Henry: Oh, gege, you just pass Queen Street and keep going straight. :|
Han Geng: (who is totally off-topic) You know Shiwon, I think you should just go back to Korea.
Shiwon: (angrily, sitting in the passenger seat) Well, you know what I think? I think we should just leave you in Chinatown. >:|
Han Geng: Well, you're more useless than Heechul! >:|
Shiwon: Whattttt. >:| You're such a loser, gege. That street vendor couldn't understand you at all!
Han Geng: (just passed Queen Street) WHAT. THAT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS THAI D: D: D:!
Henry: Um, guys, you just passed Queen Street.
Shiwon: No, it's just because you are incapable of driving this vehicle.
Henry: (annoyed) Hey, gege, you just passed Queen Street. (is covered up by bickering) UM HEY YOU GUYS YOU JUST PASSED QUEEN STREETTTT. (is ignored by everyone) WHY DOES NO ONE LISTEN TO ME DDD:
Shiwon: (suddenly) HEY GEGE YOU JUST PASSED QUEEN STREET! D:
Han Geng: Oh, that's okay, we can just go on King Street. :DDDD
Henry: (panicking) B-BUT THERE IS NO KING STREET DDDDD:!!!

03. bragging about dangerous cities?!
Henry: (blah blah blah being all tour guide) And there's a particularly shady neighborhood right over there.
Shiwon: Oh, Henry, have you ever been to Detroit?
Henry: (brightly) Yeah! When someone asks you for a dime, give them your whole wallet! :DDDDDD
Han Geng: Hey look, a sticker that says Don't mess with me because I'm from Detroit! on that car in front of us!
Henry: Y-yeah :'DDD
Han Geng: Oh yeah? Well, I'm from Beijing!
Shiwon: (butting in) Seoul! I'm from Seoul!
Henry: (to himself) I'm from here ._____.
Donghae: Mokpo! Mokpo!
Kyuhyun: What's dangerous about Mokpo, hyung? Do you slap people with dead fish?
Donghae: :OOOO!!!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DO!! :OOOOOOOO!!!!!!11111oneoneone!!!1
All: *headdesk*

04. they are raving mad :|
Donghae: (looking out the window) OH LOOK AN ELEPHANT *______*
Henry: I-I don't see an elephant. Do you, guys? (looking around)
Kyuhyun: (looking bored)
Zhou Mi: (looking out the other window)
Ryeowook: (looking like he's sleeping :|)
Han Geng: (looking for pedestrians)
Shiwon: Oh, don't worry about Donghae. He's just drunk.
Henry: B-but it's 12:30 in the afternoon! D:
Donghae: (drunkenly) HEY LET'S GO CLUBBING :DDDD
All: (suddenly energetic) LET'S GO~~ :DDDD
Henry: B-but I'm not 19 yet D:
Han Geng: The troubles of being out of China TT_____TT (brightens up) LET'S GO ANYWAYS :DDDD
Henry: DDDDDD:!!!

A-and, IDK, maybe more if I can think of any ;_________; ♥

Edit: Oh, and I think I am going to get contacts soon because my glasses thingy weird plastic thing rubbed against my nose and now it's all weird a-and yeah, only I have the skills to do that, I know. :|

★ what happened to the most beautiful girl.

2008-05-14T23:53:23Z

Happy birthday, nichiyobii~

And I wrote Kyuyuuhae fic 'coz it's totally your fault. It is rushed and probably filled with errors and I don't even know what I was writing about but all I know is that ~~there was ninja!Kihae and Eunshihae sdofinsodif stfu gaiz~~ I totally wrote Donghae as a) an asshole and b) a French-speaking dude. And Yuu. I don't even know what I did with her. D: I totally understand if you hate this 'coz I hate this too ):

Also, I was distracted by the Taefany DDD: why so cuteee ♥♥♥

boys in glass houses.
(super junior + aoi yuu) 1440 wds. pg-13.
— kyuhyun/yuu.
— kyuhyun/donghae.

a. pureuda.
s. paris, in four. (there is hope, weariness, anger, and apathy.)
n. au. rpf, rps. confusing crap, writing that i hate, the fact that i don't know what i'm doing~ D:
d. cho kyuhyun, lee donghae — sm entertainment; aoi yuu — itou company.

i. the river

He is only about 8500 kilometers away from where he should be—Seoul, South Korea with a five-kilogram math textbook, not in Paris, France with his Japanese girlfriend. They are at a carnival (he says, "And, Yuu, we are in Paris—" pronounces it like Pah-ree with a French accent and all). Sitting in the compartment of the Ferris wheel, Kyuhyun can see the Seine River. He takes her hand.

"I'll teach you Japanese while we ride," she says in very broken Korean and a slow-spreading smile on her face.

"No, thank you," he replies with a grin of his own. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? Because I recall that it took a month and a half for you to pronounce my last name correctly." She laughs, a tinkling sound, and he pushes her gently, playfully, like a lover should push their other half (but, truthfully, it's because he's afraid that any large amount of movement will disturb the Ferris wheel and send the toppling over). "And right now, you're getting better, but sometimes you still have a Korean accent."

"I'm two years younger than you. I have a lot to learn. Maybe a little bit more of the world to see. And you've been all over the world! Japan, Korea, Thailand, China, America, Canada…" He says this slowly and leaves out And even in my heart.

Yuu smiles.

"I don’t think that two people have ever been happier together than you and me."

"Because a gorgeous boy two years your junior just told you that, aren't I right?"

"Kiyuhiyon-kun, don't get your hopes up." Yuu winks. "Besides, you're not at all that gorgeous, anyways. There are probably hundreds like you." And he laughs; she points in what seems like the closest direction available, but Kyuhyun doesn't mind much. "Oh, the Seine River."

"We should go at night, where all the lights light up," he tells her in a dreamy voice. "It'll be like our fantasy. Let's go together, what do you say?"

Her gaze is serene when she says, "I'd like that very much."

And maybe one day, Kyuhyun thinks, a little sadly, she will learn my name in our summer of love.

ii. the city

The bar is busy, and this is what he lives for.

Not really.

Donghae goes to sleep tired, wakes up tired. He is tired of heaving around a dirty dishrag; tired of cleaning up after drunken customers (he seems to be getting more and more of those, lately); tired of mixing the same drinks over and over again; tired of his corner of the universe—tired of this large, French-speaking city.

The same people, again and again. He doesn't think it'll ever change. There are only a few things worth mentioning that have changed since almost two years ago and that is that a) he knows his way around town now; b) he gave up on the idea of homesickness; c) he will make Eunhyuk and Shiwon pay for his phone bill one day; d) well—why is he in Paris in the first place?

There is nothing in this city for me.

Liar, liar.

It's not a lie. Truth.

And that's how he ends his sad, lonely monologue.

He tells stories in their native Korean to his roommate; sometimes making it up as he goes along; other times it's a story they both know so well that he ends up talking up a storm with him. Donghae doesn't mind him, and he doesn't mind Donghae, and that's how their bond formed.

Tight?

What do you think?

And there are rules; unwritten, unspoken, unsaid. Donghae does not bother him while he is playing StarCraft; Donghae does not go into the kitchen ever; Donghae does not go to bed after five. "I'm older than you, you know?" he had said, but his roommate looked at him incredulously and told him, "That's fine. Now compare your room to my room and then say that to me."

It was true, but it was also harsh and, most importantly, in the past. The present (future, even) is very, very bleak and noisy and was about to go black if he stayed on three-hour sleeps for another half month. Someone asks for something. He nods absentmindedly. His French is very broken. Drives the customer crazy.

His roommate tells him, "Donghae, you need work on your French."

He smiles a weary smile.

iii. the bridge

She is plagued by stupid, silly thoughts. She is in one of the most magnificent cities to have ever graced the planet with her brilliant, loving boyfriend. She is standing on the ground where kings and queens have walked over maybe three hundred years ago.

Her mother is not here. Her father is not here. They could, technically, do anything they wanted to do, and it'd be just their little secret.

The cobblestone path is old; the trees are old; the wood is old; their love is old; she is old.

She has seen Japan, Korea, Thailand, China, America, Canada, but not his heart. Old enough. It was simple, and very, very clear. They had no love song to fit them because they fell apart over the years. Or maybe they grew up. Her hand was supposed to fit in his but suddenly it seemed like it didn't anymore. The fall could be very easy. She could make it seem like an accident. She could perform this final act of kindness. Maybe he'll come back to his senses. Wake up one morning and laugh and say, How silly was I to have fallen in love with her.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

And she goes.

iv. the party

S. Korea, three years after:

"Have you lived in France?"

Donghae looks at him from behind the bar, but barely. His smile is tiny and forced; flicks away strands of hair impatiently.

"A while before I moved back here." He gives the ordered drink to Kyuhyun. They are complete strangers. "What? Do I have some obscure French accent now?" Donghae grins as Kyuhyun blushes.

"Not really," he jokes. "It's just that… I don't know, actually. It was on impulse. I went to Paris three years ago."

"Oh, so have you?"

"… Paris was sad, I thought."

"Paris is shit." (No bitter edge.) He goes back to mixing drinks. "No, but really, what were you doing there?"

Kyuhyun pauses.

"I… found Yuu," he says quietly, almost timidly.

Donghae raises an eyebrow but does not look up.

"Did you lose her or something?" When Kyuhyun does not answer, he says, almost mockingly, "I didn't know that it was this easy to lose people these days." He eyes him. "'Coz when I was your age, you could find anybody. Anything. Well. Almost."

A girl walks in front, stops at Kyuhyun, whispers something in his ear, and leaves. They return to their dry conversation.

"She's pretty. Can't imagine how you could've lost her."

"I didn't."

"You said—"

"Well, actually, I did."

Donghae sets his towel on the counter. "Make up your mind. I'm twenty-five and single and if you don't hurry soon I might never see kids," he adds as a joke.

"… I thought I could carry her," Kyuhyun says sadly. Donghae stays quiet. "I thought, you know, maybe I could carry her through life. And if I was too tired then we'd stop together and maybe later we could keep on going. We'd go places that people've never heard of. And…." He trails off.

"It's a little like singing? A very, very high note. You can try all you want but you just can't hit that note."

"That's a little literal."

It is quiet when a bell in the distance rings solemnly.

"Sorry," Donghae says softly; "we'll be closing now." Kyuhyun wonders if he meant something other than that. "I suppose you should go with your girl now."

"Oh, she had a ride with her."

"That's not very nice, huh." And he keeps cleaning the glasses like maybe he could make it shine again.

"No," Kyuhyun agrees apologetically.

"I could call a taxi, if you'd like."

"No thanks."

"It's raining out there. Like. Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. A backdrop dance. Sort of. I'm sorry if I don't make much sense right now."

"You make perfect sense."

"Better not be sarcasm."

"It's not, it's not."

Donghae points first to the clock and then to the door. "Five oh seven. Crazy kids. Aren't you going now?"

Kyuhyun laughs. "I'm going, I'm going."

"Don't forget to close the door on your way out."

"I won't, I won't."

And that is how they end.